Animal Crossing: Pokemon Edition Gone Wrong
by PersonaOfBetrayal
Summary: One-shot. Trainer Cathy has obtained her first Pokemon, Dotty, and is ready to head out on an adventure across the world!...But not before her curiosity and the presence of a looming dark cave gets the best of her time. Rated K-plus to be safe. Originally posted on Deviantart.


Ahh, the world of Animal Crossing, a peaceful and serene place. Where the closest thing to combat is planting pitfall traps and hitting people with your axe, the closest thing to financial struggles is paying off your house debt to a repetitive script-following Tanuki to add more space or rooms for your furniture, and the closest thing to scandalous blackmail is giving and receiving from your lazy, selfish neighbour who ONLY wants the latest retro furniture that you can find.

Let's face it, we all want to escape this horrible, murder-infested battlefield called Earth and escape to the fantasy realms of our favourite Published-By-Nintendo town simulator. But lately, a good friend of mine, who is also an Animal Crossing fan (you probably know him from his avatar that features a dancing Static with seizure-inducing colours in the void), and I have come up with an idea to make this already fun and lovable game even more fun and lovable. How about we get the talent and creativity of our good ex-bug collecting friend, Satoshi Tajiri, and enhance the system with our cute, powerful, hated-by-Christianity, pixelated childhood pals only know as, Pokemon.

Meet Trainer Cathy, a young, blonde haired girl with blue eyes that actually isn't in any way involved with the Final Fantasy franchise. She dreams of being the number one Pokemon Master in all the world, Milky Way, galaxy, universe, and the omniverse! She may be small and unknown to anyone but her neighbours, but she has the determination of a tortoise, the cunningness of a fox, and the PokeBalls of Steel that makes even Minotaur cower at her bone-chilling stare. She wore a lemon-yellow vest and jeans along with an azure-blue trenchcoat similar to the hue of her dome-shaped Trainer Hat that had a marble-white visor covering her eyes. She wore cherry-red gauntlets trimmed with golden tin and spiky topaz climbing boots with metal vices installed onto the soles. She wore her trademark Four-Leaf Clover embedded into the left half of her hat.

It has been a few hours since she had received her Pokedex from Nook's Lab and already she was grazing the tree-free plains for Pokemon to battle and capture. She chose Dotty, a girlish, hyperactive, but also friendly black-and-white rabbit that one day dreams of owning a space shuttle and a house on the moon. No Pokemon in sight. Cathy sighed in light annoyance and sprinted off to another area.

"Hmm, maybe I should follow the rules for once and read these signposts on the road," Cathy said to herself. "This one says Animals Town, this one says Kakariko City...why does this one only say Cave?" Cathy questioned with a curious tone.

"Dotty, Dotty! Dot-Do-Dotty! Dot!" Dotty clapped with an excited tone.

"Cave? There might finally be some Pokemon in there?...Sounds good to me. Onwards to Cave!" Cathy declared in a dramatic tone, pointing down the road in which the vague signpost directed them.

It was some time before she arrived in a dark, cold and misty cave. Luckily, it wasn't _those_ type of caves that required a Pokemon with Flash to illuminate the area. That didn't stop the God-forsaken Bees from taking their toll though. Cathy and Dotty had to sprint and...'knock out' any Bee that got in their way.

"Stupid Bees! Your last evolution may actually be a good Pokemon, but that doesn't mean I want _a whole team of them!_" Cathy bellowed. The Bees kept taunting her and kept getting in her way though. Even Dotty was starting to get annoyed.

"Go away you stupid meanieheads! We have to get outta here, you know!" Dotty complained.

"Wait...you can talk?" Cathy jerked her head to her companion in bewilderment.

"Uhh, I mean...Dotty! Dotty, Dot-Dotty!" Dotty squeaked.

"Great. Look at all of those Bee corpses," Cathy turned her head and muttered, changing to a different topic. "That's gonna traumatize some passer-bys...not that I'm complaining, of course." Cathy darkly chuckled.

Their pilgrimage through the cave continued. They occasionally got distracted by offshooting tunnels that lead to dead ends and tripped over the frequent stalagmite, but soon when they reached a conveniently placed staircase, they were greeted by a series of rather oddly-shaped pickaxes and burrows that were scattered across the convex room. Cathy picked up Dotty and cautiously treaded across the stone floor that was narrowed by the presence of the mounds, when they got to a medium-sized circular platform with the handle of an iron pickaxe planted into a tiny hole.

"This must be a place where those 'Diglett' Pokemon reside. I've heard of them, but never knew they have pickaxes..." Cathy mused.

"Dotty Dotty, Do-Dot Dotty. Dot-Dot, Do-Dot Dotty!" Dotty theorised, her ears tickling the underside of Cathy's chin.

"You know, I don't know what the heck you're saying. But yeah, I definitely can smell the odor of mole dung. Somebody is a bad, bad mole around here." Cathy said aloud.

Just then, there was a sudden rumble from underneath Cathy's feet. Rocks and icicles were plummeting from the disturbance. The rumble was increasing more and more, and when Cathy realised that someone, or something, was trying to take her out from below, she yelped and dived out of the way, tossing Dotty away from her and smacking a squeak out of her in the consequence.

The core spot of the rumbling burst open, stone and dirt flying all over the room. Even causing Cathy to fall onto her back and make her retreat using her hands. In its place was a raging, furious, but above all, pissed off mole in a hard hat, white shirt and blue overalls. It was swinging a pickaxe at Cathy, barely being able to hold its grip on the handle.

"HOW DARE YOU LITTLE BRATS ENTER MY HOME!? DID YOU READ THE FREAKIN' SIGN THAT SAID, DO. NOT. ENTER!?" The strange creature shrieked at the frightened and knocked down couple.

"Is that a legendary Pokemon? It's speaking a weird language." Cathy commented dumbly, while rising to her feet. She noticed that Dotty was kneeling on the floor, bruised and cut, coughing her little heart out that sounded more like choking.

"Dotty!" Cathy exclaimed. She scuttled to Dotty's side and used a bag of Medicine on her. Then...

"DON'T YOU DARE WIGGLE YOUR LITTLE ASS OVER TO ANOTHER PLACE WITHOUT MY DAMN PERMISSION! GET THE HELL BACK TO YOUR PLACE, NOW, SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE BASHING OF A LIFETIME!" The creature roared, making the room vibrate.

"What _is_ that Pokemon anyway? It sounds like it's speaking English, but at the same time it sounds like it's speaking in a heavy alien accent." Cathy obliviously stated while the creature continued its rant, whipping out her trusty Pokedex to analyse the strange deity.

"ALIEN ACCENT!? LISTEN YOU LITTLE DUNCE, I SPEAK ENGLISH JUST LIKE YO-AND I'M NOT A POKEMON EITHER YOU STUPID BIMBO!" The creature yelled, changing the topic when it saw that Cathy was taking out her Pokedex. "I'M RESETTI! RE. SET. TI! THE GUARDIAN OF THE CAVES! THE SLAYER OF THE RESETTING ROUGES! THE TIME OF THE MONTH TO TRIUMPH ALL TIMES OF THE MONTH!" Resetti screeched, sending ripples of sound waves through the cave system.

"Sheesh, this guy is loud!" Cathy grumbled, flipping the lid on the Pokedex.

"Dotty..." Dotty whispered, clutching onto Cathy's leg.

The Pokedex sprang to life. Using the built-in scanner in front of the screen, it transmits DNA data from the Pokemon and decodes it through a series of complicated contraptions and thingamajigs. It was scripted to play a recorded audio file in accordance to the Pokemon No. the DNA data displays. If all else fails, it takes head-on, activates a built-in robot device to study the appearance of the Pokemon and decide which one it is out of the 649 Pokemon in the world. For this Resetti character though, things got a little out of hand for poor Dexter.

"This is a...uhh...krzzt, buzz, krrrrtt..." Dexter malfunctioned.

"Well?" Cathy calmly questioned, tapping her foot.

"It's a...a...I, don't know if it's a Diglett or Dugtrio...krrt, kzrrt, actually I'm not sure if it even is one or the oth-BZZT, BRRRRRR..." Dexter began to talk gibberish, and Cathy could feel him heating up in her gloved hand.

"Well, this is awkward..." Resetti whispered to himself.

"Oh, come on! It's been a few minutes already!" Cathy was starting to get pissed off.

"Krzzt, buzz...ah, screw it. This is an Obese Diglett." Dexter gave up and settled for an amusing name for Resetti.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU LITTLE ROBOT-SAUSAGEMUNCHER!?" Resetti returned to his previous behaviour. But he was more peeved. _Way_ more peeved.

"Obese Digletts are failed attempts at evolving into their superior form, Dugtrio. Hence why they are easy to anger and send them into a hormonal fit." Dexter continued, trying hard not to burst out laughing.

"I'M NOT GOING THROUGH HORMONAL FITS, YOU LITTLE TWERP! I'LL COME OUT AND GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY MIND IF I HAVE TO!" Resetti threatened.

If he could smile, Dexter would have pulled off a very mischievous grin right now.

"However amusing Obese Digletts may be, they are not a very positive self image and should definitely not be shown as a role model towards children, for they may grow up to be rampant mutants trashing cities like the legendary Pokemon, Godzilla." Dexter finished, mentally rolling around on the floor laughing after his little taunt.

"Oh, that. Is. **_IT_**." Resetti hissed. He squeezed himself out of his mound that kept his body in place and began to storm over to Cathy, leaving heavy, cracked footprints in the stone. He snatched Dexter out of Cathy's hand and threw it on the ground with all of his strength and muscle. He then sharpened his pickaxe with a sharpener on his belt and started bashing Dexter without mercy with it.

Crackles and sparks emitted from the imprinted holes left by Resetti's pickaxe and bits of metal flew away from him because of the miniature earthquakes left by Resetti's combined recipe of indecipherable yelling and painful strikes of the iron tool. Eventually, there was nothing left of Dexter except sawdust and static electricity.

"HA-HAH! THAT'S WHAT'CHU GET! YA LITTLE BEE-YATCH! SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR TAUNTING THE ALMIGHTY RESETTI!" Resetti roared in satisfaction, while doing a little victory dance around poor Dexter's remains.

Cathy and Dotty could only stare at him with their poker faces.

Resetti saw that they were staring at him and quickly regained his composure and dignity. He stiffened his expression and gripped his pickaxe with his two stubby hands. "Get out."

"Wait...you can talk?" Cathy asked?

"I said get out!"

"Wait, what are you doing? Why did you destroy my Pokedex? Why are all of these mounds here? What do you even do arou-"

"SCRAM!" Resetti yelled, raising his pickaxe in the air. Suddenly, weird turquoise streams shot out of Dexter's remains and circled around the pickaxe, engulfing it in a blue aura.

Cathy's eyes widened. She yanked Dotty from her position on the ground and ran like her life depended on it...which was, she thought. She scrambled up the ladder and noticed the 'Do Not Disturb' sign that she didn't noticed before. She secretly swore to never disturb the Obese Diglett again.

Resetti's eyes widened too at what his pickaxe just did. He lowered it from its skyward state and stared at the blue aura.

"Woah...wonder what this does."

She ran back to Animals Town, which was her home. And burst into Professor Nook's lab. Nook jumped up from his chair in shock and clutched his heart.

"Sweet Number Eight, Cathy! Please knock on the door next time, don't knock into it!" Nook scolded, walking towards Cathy. He noticed that she was holding onto Dotty, while also panting and wheezing.

"Hey now, are you okay? What happened?" Nook asked in concern.

"Cave...Diglett...Pokedex...Pickaxe...Ran..." Cathy spat out inbetween breaths.

"Rest for a minute first. Then tell me what happened." Nook assured her.

A few minutes passed. Cathy was seated into a chair, Dotty was nestled into her Pokeball for now, and Nook was sitting facing adjacent to her.

"Okay...so..." Cathy began.

"My Pokedex was destroyed by an Obese Diglett."

"...What?" Nook flatly said after blinking a few times.

"There was this cave. I went into it, dodged some Bees, went into a room, saw this mole-like thing in overalls holding a pickaxe, analysed it with the Pokedex, then it destroyed it. The Pokedex said that it was an Obese Diglett." Cathy explained, making hand gestures to go along with the story.

"Oh no...you ran into Resetti..." Nook groaned, facepalming.

"What?"

"Resetti is a noisy and very angry mole known around the region of Crossing. He digs tunnels and hunts down these people called 'Resetting Rouges'...I don't know who they are, but he must have had some bad experiences with them."

"Oh...right..."

"Mh."

There was an awkward silence for a pretty long time, until Cathy broke it.

"Soooo...do you have any spare Pokedexes?"

"Nope. I'm out of stock at the moment."

"When does the next stock come in?"

"Next week."

"...Crap."


End file.
